Fighting a losing battle
by inothernews
Summary: "You can't force your way out of loving her," she told him. But damn it, he wanted to try.
1. Chapter 1

_*Author's note:_**  
OMG WHAT?! A NEW STORY FROM ME? IS THIS REAL LIFE?**_ Yes, haha yes it is. Okay, so I'm really sorry my other stories just ended. I got WAYY too caught up with my new job and school and life. And I'm going to always be busy so I've just come to accept that on-going multi-chapter fics are never going to work with my ridiculously hectic life as a student/editor/graphic design intern. So this one, thankfully is already finished and I will post the next part shortly. _

_This is just an idea that has been stuck in my head ever since I watched episode 3. This story is going to be fairly short-only one more chapter after this. But if anyone else likes this idea and wants to take it further please do! _

_Sorry again for letting y'all down with the other fics and I'll try to post one-shots whenever I can. I love all of you on here and your awesome stories. Reviews make me smile :) _

_Alright I'll shut up now. :P_

It was supposed to be perfect.

He was _supposed_ to have an enjoyable evening with a decently attractive woman and he was _supposed_ to end the night by sleeping with her. But nothing can ever be fucking easy for him, now can it?

After Nina walked out of his bathroom, hair wet and in a shear black camisole, Will was ready to take her to bed. But then she just had to mention Mackenzie.

"Mac just called me," she said as walked out.

"Why?"

Oh god, Will thought. The last thing he wanted to talk about before he fucked another woman was his ex. But underneath that feeling, was a deeper sense of guilt he couldn't help but feel. Even years after he and Mac broke up, sleeping with other women always _always _feels a little bit like cheating. And he hates that. He hates that he feels that way because he doesn't think he should. SHE cheated on HIM for christ's sake. But the feeling was inevitable, as was the even more hidden feeling that he still loved her.

"She wanted to thank me for not running the story."

"You don't have to look like you did something wrong," He tells her, but Nina still keeps that worried look on her face.

So Will rose from his chair and walked until he was just inches away from her. He lowered his face to hers until their lips were almost touching and whispered.

"Just forget she even called."

And he sealed his statement with a kiss and Nina seemed to forget.

Clothes were quickly being shed and half naked Nina Howard hovered over a half clothed Will on his bed. She kissed him on the lips and then moved her mouth kissing along his jawline and then moving to his neck.

Will's eyes went shut as he tried to let himself enjoy the experience-to enjoy the woman who was making the pleasurable sensations along his skin. He shut his eyes tightly-maybe if he just let his mind wander enough, this could work-he could stop over-thinking this and feeling guilty. He let his hands fall to her hips and he felt his trick was working. He ran his hands up and down the length of her body while she continued to work her way down his neck and onto his chest. He let go of all his worries and just focused on the sensation.

And then it happened.

She was sucking on a particularly sensitive spot of skin when Will's mind wandered a bit too far. It was the spot right where his neck joined is shoulders and it drove him wild because Mac used to always place her perfect lips there. And when Nina did the same Will got lost in the moment and he moaned her name.

"Oh _Mac_."

The second her name left his lips Nine stiffened like a plank of wood.

_Fuck_, Will thought.

In what seemed like lighting speed Nina peeled off of him and darted off the bed and began looking for her shirt and shoes discard somewhere on the floor.

"Nina, wait," Will started.

But she cut him off.

"No Will," She said sternly with a tinge of embarrassment. "No, just _don't_. This was a mistake. I knew, I _knew _you still loved her. I just thought that maybe one night wouldn't … Oh fuck, I just…this was obviously a mistake."

"Nina, it's not a mistake, and I don't love her anymore. Let me just-"

But she cut him off again.

"Oh shut the fuck up, Will."

"Nina, listen-"

"No, you listen. You are such an idiot. I get it. She cheated on you and you have every right to hate her and to not forgive her. But what you seem to be too delusional to realize is that you _don't_ hate her. You just don't. You love her. And nobody-not me not anyone-you try sleep with is going to change that."

Will was speechless.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Nina quickly redressed and gathered her purse and phone, but before leaving his bedroom she paused in the doorway and turned to him again.

"You can't force your way out of loving her. But you can learn to forgive her. Honestly? I think you already have but you are just in too much denial to see it."

She was about to leave when she saw Will about to open his mouth to speak and she hurriedly spoke up before he had the change to.

"Please don't say anything. And please don't try and call me. I made this mistake once and I can _promise_ you I won't make it again."

And with that she left his apartment.

Will McAvoy just sat there on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, frustrated and unsatisfied.

Well _fuck_, he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

_*Authors note:_

_**WOAH LOOK TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE NIGHT.** What can I say? I'm feeling generous. ;p Anyway, after posting part two into the doc manager I realized that it was like a billion words so I split it up and so this will actually be a three or four part story (depending on if I feel like I want to post the next part in just one post or if I want to break it up into two smaller chapters, we'll see). _

_If you like what you read, leave me a review and I will think about making an epilogue in the week I have left of vacation. :D _

Nina Howard doesn't like being embarrassed.

In fact she hates it.

However, even though her first instinct is to write a take-down piece of Will McAvoy, she refrains from doing so. Because what did she expect? She knew he loved Mackenzie. She knew what she was getting herself into, even if he didn't.

So while she wants to be enraged with Will she just can't bring herself to be.

_It's tragic really,_ she thought.

Here they are, two people who are so obviously made for each other but are held at arms length because of a murky past. Nina Howard doesn't think she would never be able to forgive someone if they cheated on her. But that's also because she thinks that if someone cheats on you, it's because they don't really actually love you. But anyone being within ten miles of Will and Mackenzie can tell that Mackenzie deeply loves Will and vice versa.

Now, Nina doesn't know all of the juicy details about their past (as much as she craves to know she will just leave that to be their business). But god dammit it was even frustrating her that those two just wouldn't get together. As attracted as she is to Will, even a gossip columnist has human side. And even she can feel the faint but obvious sense suffering emanating from the two of them whenever she is around one of them. They are two people who want nothing more to be together aren't able to, and it's just too tragic to the point that it's just downright depressing.

Nina strongly believes that Will has forgiven Mackenzie, despite his best efforts not to. But Will is so intent on not wanting to forgive he that he is in denial that he already has.

Well, she doesn't want to dwell on the relationship of McAvoy and McHale any longer because just thinking about the two of them puts one into a depressed funk. So, she resolves to head to work at the TMI office a half hour early to distract herself from last night's mess.

Around noon her booking agent tells her she has to meet with Reese Lansing in a conference room in the AWM building. She was assuming he was probably going to try and convince her to run the story about Will not having the flu and while that was the last thing she felt like dealing with right now, she also knew she couldn't turn down a meeting with the president of ACN. He was, in fact, her boss.

However when she reached the conference room, it wasn't Reese she found sitting at the table waiting for her.

"Hey there, Nina. Please have a seat."

Sitting at the table in front of her was none other than Will McAvoy.

_God,_ she thought. _Why couldn't he just leave her alone. Can he not take a hint?_

Nine looked like she was about to bolt so before she could Will jolted up and guided her by the shoulders to one of the chairs and stared at her intensely until she finally gave in and sat down with a sigh.

"Nina look," Will began as he sat back down.

"No, Will."

"Nina, you don't have any idea how I feel or what is going through my head so please-"

But for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last two days, Nina cut him off.

"My boyfriend cheated on my four years ago," Nina said

"What?" Will was confused.

"Well ex-boyfriend now, obviously. But yeah, he cheated on me for six months right under my nose. And I was so angry I threw a blow dryer at his face."

"And what you're now going to tell me you were the bigger person and you forgave him and that's what I should do with Mackenzie?" Will shot back with every ounce of disdain he had in him.

"No. My ex was a bastard and he can go to hell."

Once again Will was confused. Seeing that, Nina continued.

"I dumped him the day I found out even though he begged for my forgiveness. I immediately took to sleeping around. I felt like I needed to cleanse myself of him by having sex with other people. I thought if I slept with someone I didn't love, while I knew I still had feelings for my ex, maybe I could understand what he did."

"And did you?"

"No."

"Wait why would you still be in love with the guy if he played you for six months?"

"BECAUSE Will, we had been dating for three years before that. You don't just stop having feelings for someone within the span of five minutes. It just doesn't work like that. But no matter how many men I fucked I still felt like absolute shit at the end of the day."

Will scoffed in annoyance. When did this become a conversation about Nina's ex?

"If you didn't feel better, and you didn't forgive him and get back together then I don't really see the point to this story right now."

"He begged for me to take him back. I said no. He kept begging for a week after that. And then he stopped begging. Then he started dating the other woman he had cheated on me with."

Will just stared at her now. What the hell was this infuriating woman trying to tell him? Wasn't he supposed to be the one trying to teach her to be civil? Not her trying to teach him something. When did he lost control of this conversation? Will was displeased. But before he could express his displeasure and swiftly change the subject, Nina continued.

"He cheated on me because deep down he probably didn't love me anymore and so when I dumped him it didn't take very long to get over it and move on with the other woman. Please, tell me what differences you see from my situation to yours."

"What the hell are you talking about? It's exactly the same! You hate you ex so why can't you believe that I don't love Mackenzie?

"IT'S NOT THE SAME YOU IDIOT."

"Would you stop calling me that?"

"It's not the same because it's been more than four years and Mackenzie is still in love with you. She hasn't stopped waiting for you to forgive her. She hasn't moved on. If she really didn't love you, she would have easily moved on a long _long_ time ago. So, yes what she did was horrible and wrong. And you could hate her. You'd have every right to. But it's so clear that you are still in love with her-you even said it yourself! And she is obviously still in love with you so what the _hell_ are you doing, Will?"

Once again Will had nothing to say to Nina Howard. How the _fuck_ has Nina Howard rendered him speechless twice in one week.

Nina sighed once again and rose from her chair and left after a simple, "Bye, Will." Hoping that this time he got the message and left her alone.

However, in case he didn't get the hint this time around, Nina wanted to make sure and give him a distraction. And who better to distract Will McAvoy than Mackenzie MacHale? All she needed to do was make sure that Mac kept bugging him about that voicemail. That damned woman was persistent as hell if she wanted to be and Nina hoped that a pestering Mackenzie would keep Will distracted enough.

As she reached her office and sat down in her desk chair she took out her cell phone and made a call…

********* Setting: In the News Night Newsroom

It had been a long night.

After they received the "Willie Pete" tweets via fax machine, Mac and the team spent the rest of the night working on the Genoa story.

Mac was exhausted and although the last thing she really wanted to do last night was work on Genoa, she jumped at the chance because at least it was a distraction from the mess that was her personal life.

For months Mac had desperately hoped to find out what was on Will's voicemail message and now that she knows she can't help but be disappointed. He seemed so keen on her not finding out about it she thought for sure, it had to have been something profound. Something meaningful and big. Why else would he be so keen on lying about it?

But in the end it was just him giving her a compliment. At least that's what Nina remembered. But she also feels that if there was some immense profession of love, Nina would have probably remembered that. And Nina seemed to be on the side of good recently that Mac couldn't believe that Nina was lying.

But god damn it, Mac really wanted it to be a profession of love. She _knows _he still loves her. She can see it in the faint glint in his eyes when he looks at her. But she is afraid he has buried that part of himself so deep that he'd never admit it to her or himself. She desperately wanted the message to prove that wrong. But it didn't.

The next morning as she strode into the office she headed straight for her office already in a foul mood. She didn't stop to talk to anyone as she normally does and she just kept to her office reading _The New York Times _to further distract her mind. More importantly, she avoided Will for as long as she could in the morning.

She wasn't angry with him really. He had even apologized to her yesterday after he had gotten upset with her. But she just couldn't be around him today for too long because she knew she'd just want to lay her head on a desk and either let out a scream of frustration or just let the tears that she has been holding back fall effortlessly. And neither of those two scenarios were an option right now. She was Mackenzie McHale, Executive Producer of News Night and a strong stubborn independent woman who wasn't about to break down in front of her staff.

Thankfully Will seemed to disappear from the newsroom around noon and Mac was able to keep her composure. When he returned an hour later she saw him sulk slowly to his office. He seemed troubled and her first instinct was to be concerned for him, but she quickly shoved that thought out because today was not a day she could handle that. He was probably just pissed off that the Jets lost or something.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when her cell phone rang. She saw the caller ID read Nina Howard.

_Weird_, Mac thought. _What could she want now?_ Hoping to god there wasn't another tabloid story on the verge of being published.

"Hello?" Mac answered.

"Mackenzie," Nina began.

"Nina. Speaking to you twice in the same week. Should I be concerned?" Mac joked.

"Mackenzie," Nina said again, this time trying to emphasize the seriousness of her tone.

"What is it?" Mac said worriedly could here the anxiousness in her voice and it immediately made her joking concern turn into actual panic.

"No, nothing wrong," Nina said. "It's just I owe you an apology sort of."

"Why?"

"I kind of lied to you last night. That wasn't all the message said. He did compliment you on your work on the broadcast, but there was more."

_Oh. My. God. _Mac's heart rate began to speed up. _Could there still be a chance?_ She hoped to herself.

"What else did it say?!" Mac cried out a little more forcefully than she had intended.

"Mac, look, I didn't want to lie to you to hurt you. It's just not my place to say what else was in that message. Will thinks I destroyed the message and this is just something you need to hear from him."

Mac's heart fell to her stomach. She wanted to yell at Nina and just berate her until she told her what the rest of the message said, but deep down she understood Nina's point.

When Mac didn't respond, Nina continued.

"Look I'm sorry, but I just wanted you to know so that you didn't… just… *sigh* Don't give up, Mac."

"Give up what?" Mac asked, even though she was pretty sure she knew the answer, she still asked because she was desperate for any hints she could get-any confirmation that the message contained a profession of love from Will.

"I have to go. Bye Mackenzie."

"WAIT, Nina! I just have to ask-" But Mac's voice only met a dial tone.

"Shit!" She swore to herself..

_God dammit, Nina! _She thought. Although she knew wasn't really that upset with the woman because she had in fact just restored all hope she had and then some.

_"Don't give up, Mac." _Mac replayed the words in her head.

"Oh trust me, I won't." Mac said aloud to herself.

"You won't what?" Neal said entering her office.

Instantly, Mac snapped out her trance and faced the young reporter in front of her.

"Nothing," Mac quickly brushed off before listening to Neal give her another pitch about his ideas for covering Occupy Wall Street.


End file.
